The MarySue Files
by Crazi Girl
Summary: While searching for a good story, my two pets Sony, and BeeBop uncover a plot by Mary-Sues to steal the hearts of the Yu-Gi-Oh guys! Left with no choice, they go eat pizza. Then they go get Isis Ishtar, and Mai Valentine, the two toughest chicks on Yu-G
1. Default Chapter

It was a rainy night in Domino City, as a camera is being set up, and is finally turned on. A gray dog who looks like a golden reciever with blue eyes, is standing on his hind-legs in front of the camera. He's wearing a trench coat, and a Dick Tracey type hat, and has a microphone in one paw. He clears his throat, and begins speaking.  
  
"What your about to see is a documentary on the most horrific event that happened in the world of Yu-Gi-Oh. The names of the characters involved have been changed for safety reasons. No, I'm not talking about when Pegasus went streaking down the high-way. I'm talking about something much worse. I'm talking about when the Mary-Sues tried to steal the hearts of the Yu-Gi-Oh guys!"  
  
"I know what your thinking. Mary-Sues. Pretty, and pathetic, they come into the story, and steal the main characters heart, with out even flipping an eye lash. Unfortunately, these weren't your ordinary Mary-Sues. These were a new breed. They were smart! They actually had a plan!"   
  
"For your own safety I suggest that if you review you send in anomonous reviews. Also the author of this story does not own Yu-Gi-Oh."  
  
Camera screen shifts as the dog enters an old abandoned building. "What your looking at is the building the plot began in. It was here two unsuspecting animals stumbled across the plot." Camera shifts to an old table. "The Mary-Sues were seating around this very table, planning un-thinkable things, when the animals over heard them."  
  
Camera is suddenly dropped on the ground, and two voices are heard through lots of static.  
  
BeeBop: Meep it, Sony! Couldn't you keep the freaking camera straight!  
  
Sony: Well, if you'd just let ME be the host, then this wouldn't have happened!  
  
BeeBop: YOU!?! You would have gone on, and on, about how hot the Mary-Sues were!  
  
Sony: SO! We're doing this to reveal the truth about this, that the cops of Yu-Gi-Oh tried to cover up! ReMeMbEr!  
  
BeeBop: @0@ Your such an idiot! Wait, the camera's working again!  
  
Camera catches a glimpse of a white tom cat with black, and tan spots, before he picks up the camera. The dog begins speaking again.   
  
"Sorry about the camera difficulties." The dog looks around, and notices something. He picks up what looks like a hot pink gun. "LOOK! We found a gun that the cops left behind! This is proof that it really did happen! Now, what this is, is a love-gun. The Mary-Sues used this very gun to shot the Yu-Gi-Oh guys, and they would fall helplessly in love with the Mary-Sues. It even has different levels, so if a guy is hard to get, you can set the level for him, just like if a guy is easy to get, you can set a level for him. The trigger looks like a heart…"  
  
A pink beam is shot at the camera screen, and the camera is dropped once more. The cat now has little hearts in his eyes, and he says, "OH BEEBOP!"  
  
BeeBop: Ah, ah, Sony? Are you OK man?  
  
The cat jumps into the dogs arms, and begins screaming, "I LOVE YOU! HOLD ME, BEEBOP! HOLD ME!"  
  
BeeBop: HHHHHHHEEEEEEELLLLLLLLPPPPPPPPP!  
  
2 YEARS EARLIER…..  
  
Sony, and BeeBop were looking around for a juicy story for the author, CG to write about, when they walked down an alley way in between two abandoned buildings to take a break. It had been a lousy night. The only thing they could find were romantic stories! YUCK!   
  
BeeBop pulled out a brown bag, and took out a hamburger. He passed it to Sony, and then pulled out one for him self. He took a huge bite, and in between chewing he said, "You know, Sony……..(Munch) What we need to do….(Gulp)…Is find some sort of action story. You know?" "Man, what we need is a story with hot chicks!" Sony replied. He then added, "And chew with your mouth closed man! That is SOOO nasty!"  
  
BeeBop made a face, and threw an old aluminum can at Sony. He was about to say something mean in reply, when they heard voices.   
  
Voice 1: "What was that?"   
  
Voice 2: "Beats me. I got beauty. Not brains!"  
  
Voice 1: "GO LOOK YOU MORON!"  
  
Sony, and BeeBop duck down as the door to the building they were seating against opens. A gorgeous girl with blonde hair, and pink eyes opens the door. "Any body out there? We're having a very important meeting, where we're planning very bad things we shouldn't, and we'll have to kill you if you show up!" A hand covers her mouth, and drags her back in.  
  
"YOU STUPID WHORE! KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT!" A female voice roared. The door opens again, as BeeBop sits on Sony, to keep him from doing something stupid, like telling the girls where they were at, and asking them out on a date. Another girl comes out. This one has black hair set in two buns, with some hair dangling down. Her eyes are a pretty purple, and she's wearing a yellow dress.   
  
"OT-OH! It's Vivian!" BeeBop whispers. "Vivian? Who's she? Besides sexy?" Sony asks. BeeBop looks at him annoyed before replying. She's the chick who had the hots for both Seto, and Yugi at KC Grand Prix. (CG: Check out Janime.com if you don't know who the skank is. And I don't own the site!) "OOOOOHHHHHHH" Sony replies.   
  
Vivian looks around looking extremely angry when she sees BeeBop's tail. She walks over, and sees him, and Sony starring at her, and snorts in disgust. "It's just some stupid animals!" She screams ill. She stomps back into the building, and slams the door.  
  
BeeBop slowly gets up, and sneaks over to a window. He looks through it, and Sony gets beside of him, so he can see to. Several girls are seated around a table, and Vivian is pacing in front of them. She then begins speaking.  
  
"NOW, what we need to do, is first decide who gets who. That way, we can avoid a lot of fuss. I get Seto." Several angry voices begin screaming, and the girl who first looked outside suddenly jumps up, and screams, "Why do you get Seto! I wanted him!" Screams of protest suddenly become even louder when Vivian's voice is heard above them all.   
  
"HHHEEEEEYYYYY! SHUT! UP!" Every one in the room quits speaking, and stares at her, suddenly shocked for some unusual reason. Taking her opportunity Vivian quickly begins speaking. "Hey, you guys? Why are we fighting? There's plenty of hot guys to go around! I mean let's see…There's Yugi, and Joey, and Bakura, and Marik…see where I'm headed with this? There's a guy for everyone!" "Those guys from the Doom Organization ARE pretty hot…" One girl says. Another girl suddenly shots, "Hey, there might be enough guys for us all to have two!"   
  
Everyone begins cheering, and starts screaming out names. Vivian begins writing names on a board, and suddenly everyone is bidding.  
  
Vivian: Yugi Muto! Who wants him?  
  
Voice 1: I'll give two pieces of gum!  
  
Vivian: Two pieces of gum! Do we have another bid?   
  
Voice 2: 4 pieces of gum! Vivian: We have 4 pieces of gum! Do we have another bid? Going once, going twice…  
  
Voice 3: I'll give 4 pieces of gum, and a breath mint!  
  
Vivan: Going once, going twice…SOLD! To bidder number 3!  
  
Groans of disappointment are heard around the room, but everyone perks up as Marik is put up for bids. BeeBop watched in horror, as Sony sat hopefully waiting for some one to bid one him. No one did. Finally the bidding came to an end, and Vivian made a new announcement.  
  
"OK! Now that we've got the important business out of the way, let's go over the plan. What you do, is stalk your man, and when your sure he's alone, you shot him with this!" Vivian holds up a pink gun, with a heart for a trigger. "This sure to make the boys our love slaves! No longer will we have to compete with those idiotic Yu-Gi-Oh chicks! Our being lazy will be rewarded!" Cheers are heard at this, and everyone flocks to the front to grab a gun.  
  
"OH MAN! We've got to do something!" BeeBop said. "I know! Sony agrees. "All of those hot girls with no guys around to keep them company…it's just not right!" BeeBop's mouth drops open, and he retorts. "No, what we've got to do is tell Isis, and Mai! They can do something! Hopefully…."  
  
Present Day  
  
The dog is once more seen in front of the camera, and in the back ground you can hear some one throwing up. "What you just saw is what actually happened to the boys when they were shot. Fortunately for me, the effects were short. The batteries were low. Next we'll be interviewing the two heroes of this incident, Isis Ishtar, and Mai Valentine. And remember. Mary-Sues are evil! EVIL!"   
  
Camera is cut off. 


	2. Don't remember

The camera is once again being set up, but this time it's in a woman's house. "I don't feel like talking about that crap! It was a long time ago!" An annoyed voice says. "But it's for a good cause! Everyone needs to know about what happened! The people have a right to know!" Another voice argues. "All right…" The first voice finally agrees.   
  
The dog steps in front of the camera, and begins speaking. "Today, on the Mary-Sue files we step even further into the war that happened here in Dominoe City. But this time, we're exploring the side of all that stands for good! We have gotten both Isis Ishtar, and Mai Valentine to agree to this interview. This is important, because these were the two women who thwarted the evil plot developed by Vivian, and executed by the Mary-Sues. These two are heroes! And it's a pleasure to be interviewing them!" The dog said. Another voice said, "It's a pleasure to be taping them, too!"   
  
Mai's mouth dropped open, and she smacks someone standing behind the camera. "There! I've been wanting to do that all night long! Now let's get this dumb interview over with! I can't believe I even agreed to this!" Isis shook her head, and sat down next to the dog. Mai then took a seat on the other side of him, and shot a glare at someone behind the camera when an annoyed voice said, "I want to do the interview!" "Shut-up, Sony! Your going to make Mai mad, and she won't do it!" The dog snapped. "What ever." The voice replied. The dog shot a glare of his own before he turned to Isis.  
  
"So, what was going through your mind when we first told you about the Mary-Sues?" Isis smiled, and said, "Well, I thought it was a joke at first." The dog raised his eyebrows, and said, "So you didn't think the animals who informed you of this were very trustworthy?" "Not really! Look at who they were looking for a story, for." "Good point! Well, how exactly did they convince you it was true?" "We convinced her through my extraordinary charm!" The voice from behind the camera chimed. "That's it!" Mai shouted jumping up. She jumped over the camera, and the camera is knocked over. "Take that, you little terd!" Mai is heard screaming! "OW, OWWW, OWWW, SOMEONE HELP!"   
  
2 Years Earlier…  
  
Sony, and BeeBop were eating pizza in a pizza parlor discussing what they had just heard. "I think we should go tell Isis, and Mai. They could do something!" BeeBop said. "Why?" Sony replied. "If we let them go get the Yu-Gi-Oh guys, that's less competition for us!" BeeBop sighed knowing he could never get Sony to agree with it as long as there was a possibility he could get a date, when an idea hit him. "Hey, Sony. Just think about how many girls were in that room. They were hot weren't they?" Sony gets a dreamy look in his eyes, and he says, "OH YEAH!" BeeBop sighs dramatically, and says, "It's a shame though. All of those girls…three times as many as the Yu-Gi-Oh girls…three times less than we'll get to date if we let the Yu-Gi-Oh guys get them…But hey! Let's go party with the Yu-Gi-Oh girls! I'm sure the Mary-Sue will be going for the guys by now."   
  
Sony's mouth drops open, as he jumps up. "Hold it! You would dare let an injustice like a bunch of nerdy guys get stolen by hot girls, happen!?! Sick, man! You should be ashamed! Now, I tell your what we're going to do! We're going to Isis, and Mai, and we're going to beg, plead, strip, cuss, or what ever else we need to, just for the good cause of saving those guys! NOW GET YOUR BUTT UP! THERE'S NOT A MOMENT TO WASTE!" Sony jerked BeeBop up from the seat, and dragged him from the restaurant as fast as he could. BeeBop couldn't help, but grin, and think, 'I am so good!'  
  
The first place they stopped at was Isis's house. She would be the easiest to convince. In other words, she wouldn't beat the crap out of Sony, on sight. They knocked on her door, and it was immediately opened. BeeBop grinned, and said, "You saw us coming using your millenium item, didn't you!" Isis just shook her head. "Actually, I thought you were the pizza guy!" BeeBop does an anime fall, while Sony rushes in.  
  
"Isis, we've got something to tell you!" Isis sighed, and said, "No, I will not go on a date with you." "Trust me, Isis, this is much, much worse." BeeBop said. Sony's mouth drops open, and he retorts, "At least I have the guts to ask girls out!"   
  
Realizing there was about to be a huge fight, Isis quickly intervened. "OK, what's going on?" Sony was about to open his mouth, when BeeBop started to explain. "Well, we were looking for a story for CG, when we uncovered an evil plot by the Mary-Sues to steal the hearts of the Yu-Gi-Oh guys. Now, we need you and Mai to do something about it." Isis starred at him a moment, and started laughing her head off. "You really want me to believe a story like that!?!" She gasped out between burst of laughter.  
  
Shocked that Isis would laugh like that, BeeBop was at a lose for words. Luckily, Sony wasn't.   
  
"Isis, let me paint you a picture. Remember Vivian, from Kaiba's tournament in America? She wants him. Now, imagine your standing in line at a fancy restaurant. This is a restaurant, that your not getting into unless you're a celebrity. But luckily, Marik offered to take you, since he's your little brother. Suddenly, a limo pulls up, and Kaiba gets out. Then, he turns, and helps Vivian out. He's so in-love he can't keep his eyes off of her. As they walk up that red carpet, and waltz into the restaurant, Vivian is running her fingers through Kaiba's hair. She makes a dorky comment, and he collapses on the ground laughing. Then, they enter the restaurant. Now, when you finally get in, what do you see, but Kaiba feeding Vivian, with a look of pure adoration on his face, as she licks the cream cheese from his finger. Then…" Sony got no farther.   
  
Isis leaps up, and grabs Sony by the throat. "WHERE IS THE LITTLE SKANK!" She shrieks, flames shooting from her eyes. "Part one, complete." BeeBop says.   
  
A few minutes later, of which BeeBop saw his life flashing before his eyes, because Isis's driving is so insane, they arrive at Mai's home. Isis leaps out of the car with out parking, and BeeBop slams on the brakes. "Which gear is park?" BeeBop asks Sony. "Beats me, I can't read."  
  
Meanwhile, Isis races up the steps, and begins to bang on the door. Mai opens it, rubbing sleep from her eyes. "What in the world has gotten into you?" She asks Isis, covering a yawn. "That stupid little slut is trying to steal my man, and she's got an army ready to steal yours! Now your coming with me!" Isis screams. She then grabs, Mai, and shoves her into the car….  
  
Present Day…  
  
The dog sits the camera back up, and turns to Isis. "So, why did you react that way when Sony began to describe Kaiba with another woman?" Isis laughs, and says, "Well, I can't let another woman steal my man, now can I?" Sounds are heard as Mai continues to beat up the cat.  
  
The dog turns back to the camera. "Well, you heard it here. Isis, and Mai couldn't bear the thought of another woman stealing their men. Especially by such foul means! Such noble hearts are hard to find, but for two animals, luckily, they were find able. Next, we'll be interviewing Seto Kaiba. Stay tuned next time for…The Mary-Sue Files!  
  
Camera is shut off. 


End file.
